Pocket Changes

Compassion & Forgiveness

2008-07-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

“Compassion, Forgiveness, these are the real, ultimate sources of power for peace and success in life.” – Dalai Lama

Think of the angriest, the saddest, the most unsuccessful person you can. Isn’t it evident that they are holding onto some grudge? Being unforgiving is a lot of hard work – why should we waste our precious energy with it?
It seems that the happiest people in life tend to be the most forgiving. Recently I was reminded of a few powerful words from a mentor of mine: “Let it go.” The ability to let things go, to forgive, to have compassion for what others are going through is an awesome and powerful thing. Imagine what we could accomplish if we all could develop a “let it go” type of attitude?

Important Information

2008-03-04T06:45:00.000-08:00

Thought this was worth sharing:

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Captioned version available on this site.

Love & Non-attachment

2008-02-14T13:59:00.000-08:00

So, if you strive to practice non-attachment, where does love fit in? Isn't love attachment? I think love's as creatively complex as anything could possibly be. If you're a person of faith, you say God is love. If God's omnipotent, so is Love. Faith aside, no one can really deny the power it has. Obviously it's worth having, worth doing, worth living in. So is it wrong to be attached, if we can be attached?

I think, and I can be wrong, that attachment isn't necessary, because Love is in the present moment.

I use metaphors to visualize how things are, how things fit together. When I thought about Love, how would you visualize it in a more general way that'd apply to all love, I thought of a beautiful stream.

If you see a beautiful stream, or a river, you want to sit by it, maybe dip your feet into the water. You imagine you're attached to the stream, because you keep returning to it, loving it. Yet the stream is always different, it's never the same stream, one moment to the next. It is constantly in motion, something you cannot hold on to because it slips through you fingers.

Yet you can be there, enjoy it in the present moment exactly for what it is. That's pretty powerful, and special. Love is like that, I think. It's good to immerse yourself from time to time, maybe see where it takes you, if you'd like to float awhile.

Lightening Up and Being Where You Are

2008-02-07T17:21:00.001-08:00

I was out driving today for work, on the way from one appointment to the next, when I noticed a sign that said "Do What You Can. Be Where You Are." I thought this was a very perfect thing to read at that particular moment because I was working on my own practice of mindfulness, trying to be a mindful driver. Like most people, I could get distracted by thoughts. Like many who are working on being mindful and living in the moment, sometimes we scold ourselves a bit for getting off track.

Do What You Can. Be Where You Are. I am reading a book by Pema Chodron at the moment, a well-known Tibetan Buddhist Nun, called Start Where You Are, which touches on this concept within the first chapter. It just happens that today I started really reading it, so twice in a day the same reminder in two places. Pema says "Lighten up." when we're working on our own practice we need a bit of humor in how we address our supposed imperfections. It's all about being where you are and starting there, not holding on to this ideal of what you want to become. We'll become "that" as we are in the process of becoming. Becoming is more present.

So, lighten up. She goes as far as to say that people even talk themselves out of trying just because someone like her says lighten up and then they think "I can't lighten up so I better not try practicing what I want to be." Anything can be achieved through practice.

It's a good thought for me to keep in mind.

On another note, I wrote a post on mindfulness on another site, VisaliaWellness.com. Here's the link.

Doing What Needs To Be Done

2008-01-28T08:22:00.000-08:00

In Zen Buddhism, we practice focusing on the present moment. If you're eating, then you work on being mindful of each bite and enjoy it completely. If you're walking, you try being mindful of each step, paying attention to your surroundings as you walk.

Applying the same principle to most things in everyday life, the natural side effect, at least as I'm finding it, is a more frequent tendency to do what needs to be done. If I've eaten, I know I have dishes to wash. So I can wash it then, or wash it later. More often now, I find that in being mindful, I just take care of it now. Present moment, productive moment.

Notice I say "more often." There's a part of me that wants to do this in all aspects of life without fail, always doing what needs to be done. I think it's unnecessary to go to that extent, or at least to put any pressure on oneself to do so. You do what you can, and accept that some moments you might decide it's ok to do it later. It's ok.

In most things we do, our habits are shaping every minute who we are. This is unavoidable. What control you have is over what habits you want to cultivate, and what you want to weed out.

A lawn is not ruined with one little flowering weed coming out now and then, moments where you have decided you'll do the chores later. It's what we do most of the time that define us. Being present as much as you can, doing what needs to be done as much as you can, is enough. It'll lead to a happier you.

What do you need to get done today?

Every day we do things, we are things that have to do with peace. If we are aware of our life..., our way of looking at things, we will know how to make peace right in the moment, we are alive.

Thich Nhat Hanh

For a good site on cultivating mindful habits see Zen Habits

Doing What You Can In The Face of Everything

2008-01-17T08:21:00.001-08:00

It's easy to look at the world today and feel discouraged by how things are in general. Maybe it's getting worse all the time and maybe it's not. How much of this is perception is difficult to know, since we live only a short time in this life-in the grand scheme of history.

So when we consider whether it's worth the effort to move forwards with trying to change the world in a positive way, doubt has this sneakyness about it. It wants to creep into your heart and cripple you.

The truth is...

If what you do personally is but a drop in the ocean of all existence...

with that drop, you change the ocean. It's no longer the same ocean it was, before you. With a glance it seems unchanged, but it's not the same. When you practice positive action in your own life and reach for positive change for the better, within you, you will end up feeling it personally. You become your experience, you become your drop in the ocean. And as part of the ocean, you are changing it.

With enough of us, the ocean as a whole is going to start to show more clearly its differences. The waves may continue, but we can survive and be mindful of the fact that we're all connected to form the whole.

Thich Nhat Hahn said the wave becomes enlightened the moment it realizes it is water.

Focus on what you can change within yourself for the better and you will automatically be changing the world.

Awareness

2008-01-10T12:37:00.001-08:00

" Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. " Dwight D. Eisenhower

In doing some light research on Mahayana Buddhism (the sect of Buddhism with which I fall most in alignment) I found the following summary of the fifth "pledge" a Buddhist takes as translated (or rather, somewhat disambiguated) by Thich Nath Hanh:

[I am] Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I am committed to cultivate good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practising mindful eating, drinking, and consuming. I am committed to ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being, and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society [sangha]. I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicant or to ingest foods or other items that contain toxins, such as certain TV programs, magazines, books, films, and conversations. I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my parents, my society, and future generations. I will work to transform violence, fear, anger, and confusion in myself and in society by practising a diet for myself and for society. I understand that a proper diet is crucial for self-transformation and for the transformation of society.

I like what he says here about "other items" that contain toxins such as " certain TV programs, magazines, books, films and conversations." I have been a long-time advocate of dismantling the television from my daily life, but I hadn't much considered magazines, books, films and conversations as possible pollutants. Well, maybe the conversations. And maybe the other stuff, too... just maybe not in this way.

I think it's important to recognize that it's not only food that we consume.

Still, I choose not to purchase magazines that capitalize on other peoples "indecency" or privacy; I don't buy books written by people that I am certain to find moral disagreement and I really can't stand mindless pulp cum "box office hit of the summer." I would rather stare at the sky on a cloudy day.

What I really love most about the above translation is this line: "I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my parents, my society, and future generations." Just beautiful.

And I sometimes worry that maybe by abstaining I put myself in some sort of false reality, until I realize that reality is just what we make it anyway. I'm aware of social injustices in the world. I'm also aware that I can do better to dismantle it by not supporting those that support injustice. Rather than give these injustices my attention and speech, I choose to support their opposites. Ultimately, activities in talking about it serve no purpose. There's no such thing as bad press, but there is such a thing as having no support.

A proponent for peace will do his best to put his dollar where it really counts: in the hands of people who support his ideals.

"All that we are..."

2008-01-08T18:48:00.000-08:00

"...arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." ---Siddhartha Gautama, The Buddha

Regardless of what one's philosophy or faith is, some things are tough to deny. Boil this concept down to the most simple explanation: Our thoughts lead towards how we act, feel, exist. If we predominantly think of ourselves as being unlucky or poor, this affects choices we make that often lead towards our being unlucky or poor. We get stuck in these vicious cycles, thousands and thousands of different cycles. With all the increasing attention on The Law of Attraction, due to wildly-successful movies like The Secret, so much controversy continues over the power of our thoughts as they affect our daily lives.

I think it's not important whether one believes any one definition of "The Law of Attraction"-this is best left up to personal experience on everyone's part. Some will stick with strict science, others will keep their faith. In every aspect of life, you can witness for yourself that changing how you practice your thoughts leads towards your life changing, for better or worse depending on what you pick.

We can leave debate elsewhere, on whether ALL things that OCCUR to us are a result of what we have thought. Our thoughts control who we are as individuals.

You are the sculptor, how do you want to shape yourself, using all that you experience as tools?

Looking inward

2008-01-05T09:03:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a book by Malcolm Gladwell called Blink, which is about thinking, how we make decisions in the blink of an eye, and more related to that subject. Last night it discussed something called an IAT test that will analyze how a person thinks unconsciously as opposed to their conscious thoughts--to compare the difference. In other words, as an example, if you consciously think Candidate ______ will be the best president, do you unconsciously think the same?
Harvard University has a series of IAT tests for various subjects. Fascinating. Take a look. The key is to answer questions as fast as you can, before you can analyze and think too consciously.
Here's a link.

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/selectatest.html

Sometimes it's good to know if there are differences in your thoughts, conscious or not. Once aware, there are supposedly ways to get things more in alignment.

Love

2008-01-03T19:02:00.000-08:00

"Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love."

Martin Luther King Jr.

Can you imagine what our world would be like if our leaders were people like MLK? In every country, if those who were elected were men and women of peace, of love? It's a grand thought. Most would say it's an unrealistic, impossible dream. I would usually be inclined to think the same, to have faltering hope for a future like that, but then I think--why not?

Nothing's wrong with dreaming of impossibilities, so long as we keep on ticking, doing whatever we can, and maybe try to be a part of this process in one way or another.

Color's Influence

2007-12-20T22:35:00.000-08:00

Hello all! This is my first post. Pleasure to be here. :-)

How does color influence your mood and your ability to maintain a positive outlook? More specifically, how does the color of your clothing influence your mood?

Do you use color in your appearance to relflect or affect your mood? Ever consider the practical considerations of a monochromatic wardrobe? We often think of goths as being moody and depressed, and clothed in solid black. However, which came first: the mood, or the ebony wardrobe?

I've been experimenting with wearing nothing but black to work (four days a week) for the past month (not that I identify with goth culture, it's just something I've done periodically since, oh, before the internet and before I'd even heard the word goth*), and let me tell you, while I feel especially fashionable and love getting dressed in the morning (everything practically matches! either it's blue-black or it's brown-black), I haven't been my most upbeat self, either. That may be atttributed to other things going on in life lately, but as a fashionista in the field of clothing psychology, it raised a few questions I couldn't ignore.

How does the color of what you wear affect your moods and thoughts? Do the colors reflect what's going on inside, or do they first create what's going on inside? A little bit of both? Just some things to ponder...

*alternatively, I once experimented with wearing all white as much as practically possible. Not nearly as practical, fashionable or flattering as all black. :-)

shifting perspective

2007-12-19T18:49:00.000-08:00

some time ago i started noticing cultural perception and the shape of the words we use in every day language. there's a lot of negativity to battle (and of course, negativity is a judgement for which i must counterstrike and be grateful: for without negativity i would not understand positivity).

anyway, so we were trying to find somewhere to park one day when i used to drive. we were in san francisco and its tiny streets and compiled signs dictated our lives for several hours. of course, this was the last time i drove in san francisco or any large city, for that matter. i won't even consider the matter any more, but that's another story all together.

what i really noticed was that there would be a sign, and the sign would say, for example, "no parking from 3-6am, tuesdays and thursdays;" another sign below it would say "no parking tuesdays" and possibly another sign would say "no parking 6-8 mondays, weds, fridays & saturdays, including holidays" and it would take me like 5 minutes to figure out if i COULD park there in the time & space i was situated.

one could surmise that if there are other cars parked in the area that it was the time of day that is okay, but there are more signs designating parts of the block from point x forward or point x backwards 200 feet, so one has to be very careful.

what i thought would be a better idea all around was to, instead of state what you may NOT do, to state what you MAY do:

No Left Turn >> Please, Turn Right.
Do Not Cross >> Cross When Safe.
Yield >> Let Others Pass
Stop >> Consider
Do Not Block >> Leave Space Open

but it doesn't stop there, of course - that was the thing that got me thinking about it. this kind of thinking is infused not just in our street signs, but in our every day cultural language.

one of my goals for the new year is to be consciously aware of the language i use and its effect on my thinking personally and thus its effects on the community in which i live.

Gratitude Counterstrike Part 2

2007-12-18T14:24:00.001-08:00

So it's been a week, and I've been practicing my goal to launch the Gratitude Counterstrike.

What I noticed:

1. I feel calmer after I've expressed gratitude. It definitely shifts my mood. We all have to deal with moments of frustration, being human beings. However, being human beings, we also have the ability to choose to take another path.

2. It takes frequent reminders to practice this. I'll have to make it a lifelong practice to get the best benefit. Yet this is a practice that costs nothing and pays in peace. I bet the peace feels stronger over time.

3. I found myself a few times about to complain or judge and stopping myself simply because I felt like I'd rather not be expressing gratitude just to counterstrike something I knowingly said or thought. This is half out of laziness for not wanting to be redundant with what I express gratitude for, and half out of wanting gratitude to be my first instinct, not my second.

So, launches will continue. Or we can get to a point where there's no counterstrike but instead, a Gratitude PREEMPTIVE strike. This is even better. This is if we're aiming for that first instinct to be gratitude.

Can you imagine it? That automatically, when life throws you challenges, whether small or large, our first instinct would be to express thankfulness for something, even the challenge itself for giving us an opportunity for growth.
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Every day we do things, we are things that have to do with peace. If we are aware of our life..., our way of looking at things, we will know how to make peace right in the moment, we are alive.

Thich Nhat Hanh
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The Gratitude Counterstrike

2007-12-11T16:00:00.000-08:00

So, to take Keri's challenge. I'm going to launch the Gratitude Counterstrike this week.

Here's my attempt for small change this week. It's worth making it a practice:

If I find myself complaining or judging (which is a complaint of a sort) I must launch a counterstrike of gratidue towards the complaint in the form of expressing, inwardly or outwardly, two things I am grateful for.

The first gratitude strike knocks out the complaint. The second moves me in a peaceful direction.

G minus 10...9...8...7..6...5...4...3...2...1...

*launch*

2007-12-09T14:01:00.001-08:00

it might be a fun project to try week-long exercises where each of us takes a turn to promote a small change in our lives and then write about our experiences here.

whattaya think?

Welcome to Pocket Changes Blog!

2007-12-03T08:33:00.001-08:00

Contributers wanted. Individuals interested in changing the world, one person at a time, starting with themselves.

Positive Attitude (steer clear of judging others)

2007-12-03T08:30:00.000-08:00

I read something the other day where a guy promised himself that the day he could get through an entire day without judging another person, he would reward himself with an ice cream sundae. This guy is apparently the peaceful sort who really does practice trying to stay positive, but he admits he hasn't managed to earn the sundae yet after many years.

Interesting thought. Sure, if you stay home and don't interact with others, you might manage it. Play video games, the kind where you don't interact with others, and you might get through your day without thinking of real life and passing judgment. Tougher to do when we're out and interacting.

I do try, and often fail. I think I fail mainly due to not thinking about it. I guess the good news is, when I catch myself doing it, I can usually change the direction of what I'm thinking and then my actions will show it, my words will show it, and maybe this is something that'll make a little difference.

So maybe we just do our best. If life is a sailing ship, you have the wheel. Steer it towards positivity anytime you feel yourself drifting off course, and if you're headed into the direction of positivity more often than you drift off course, you should reach your destination a bit easier each time.

Maybe eventually we'll earn an ice cream sundae. Well, go ahead and have one anyway. Don't judge yourself.